Wildflower
I was just reading that last entry and felt it rather dismal... well it was a long day, a migraine and cramps aside, I felt like I hadn't slept in 2 weeks. This entry is for those concerned, to keep you in the loop.
I've been under spiritual attack, but I think I'm coming to know why now, and why with such intensity. So far, Satan's tried, rather unsuccessfully (note it radiates outwards from the spirit man to the world outside):
1. lying--making me believe I am other than He says
2. fear--making me fear through a whole host of unclean spirit events
3. distraction--using circumstances around me to hold my attention away from His immediacy
These 3-4 days or so he's trying to keep me from resting. his goal is to bring me down physically so I lack the energy and focus to keep my eyes on Him doggedly, pray unceasingly, and continue to minister.
I do ask for prayer, but I also know He's very much in control, and as far as I can help it, once I am conscious and am brought back to that, I am not really shaken. I will continue to know in the fullest experiential sense of the word, that I am, and have nothing, and run straight for His arms. As disturbed as my sleep has been, I will continue to trust Him for it, and rest in knowing He's in control. The best place to snuggle up? With my head in Father's lap. =) Nothing shall wrest my certainty in Him from me.
Every step I take, is a step of faith
No weapon formed against me, shall prosper
Every prayer I pray, is a prayer of faith
If my God is for me, then who can be against me? =)
Oh joy! The victory is His! =)
Stay small, and keep looking at Jesus! He is your strength in your weakness, your joy in your sorrow. Never stand on your own strength or pride will become your stumbling block.
And why all this?
In and out of prayer through the day, and in my 2-hour QTs I have the general sense that God is dealing with my brokenness, now is the time for healing, now i'm ready for one more step towards His promised wholeness. In my heart He's finally entering places He's held from stepping into till now. He spoke to me Isaiah 54, esp verses 4-8. My past is judgement, the consequence of generational sin played out over these 20 years of my life, but the time of restoration is here. Much that happened is not my fault, He says, and what relief this brings, for I never understood why many things happened. But it stops here, the chains will be broken, I will not fall into the footsteps of my forefathers, these generation curses will stop with me. One by one, these spirits shall not just leave me, but also those I love.
Satan is losing his foothold in me, his most vunerable and now critical prisoner for so many years. His little minions are panicking, perhaps hence the recent stir of intense activity. He will lose his place in this home. I say this in faith.
So you see, although this is tough, really there's reason to be much more cheerful.
Wildflowers are beautiful because He painted each little bud to perfection. He kissed each, and they burst into life, their tiny petals like a ballerina's skirts, white as snowdrops, their centres glowing as golden as His smile. Through the rain and sun they never stop smiling for Him. To the passing sheep or cow each little flower gives its life to making its tresspasser's sweeter. The humble, trampled wildflower will find itself back in spring, with many others, chewed or otherwise gracefully aged, only to have multiplied itself in adversity to bring the Father greater glory.
I have unfailing love, I have unending hope
because of my eternal, sweet, amazing God
| e.s.t.h.e.r in the arms of Jesus @
7/17/2005 08:01:00 pm |
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