Be Thou My Vision
"Why?...." I will trust Him, when all the lights have gone out and I am at the end of my strength. He will find a way. I persevere in faith till He meets me on the road to His place of healing and rest.
I do apologize for the language in the earlier entry. Someone remarked that he didn't know such a B-word existed in my vocab. It is true that it serves no purpose to bastardize our language simply because our morals have gone through a similar process. It is no excuse. I was genuinely angry... and even then that anger did not feel Spirit-led. The entire encounter was a matter of minutes, but those brief moments revealed tons to me about the dire need for Him. The word that came to mind even as I bargained with the Spirit is "latent". I was full of self-righteousness
"My child, Forgive." He said.
"Oh Lord... I feel like I shall not have the strength to crawl much further. It hurts... quite bad." I held out a bleeding heart. Broken glass, everywhere. Have to walk on.
Silence.
"But Lord, I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't ask for anything, this is a crime in both Your law and the state's. This was done against me! Am I to be alright with this? How am I supposed to be? Ever?"
Silence.
A pregnant Silence---"I have allowed it, and I'm in control. Isn't that enough?"
A long pause...
this little human was being thoroughly, painfully searched by the Lord.
"Oh, what am I that I should call anything my own? Humble me Lord. For I am wretched."
"Let it go" He said. "You are mine, therefore look to Me. I reserve the right to tell you who you are."
He gives, and He takes away.
He's right.
I let it go. I was more than willing to, at least.
Let me give thanks, even now.
I need Him.
The rest of the day was cheery.
My heart is again stirred by the need for prayer. Deep, quiet repose, and time with Him. I prayed over the morning's event again. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! My Father comforted me today. Oh brokenness is hard, but it is good. Keep me humble Father, and in all things let me give thanks.
Today isn't my last day after all... NUS is keeping me around cos they'll be at meetings for the next 2 days. Once again, the Lord will provide what I need, this time through the renumeration from this job. It's just enough. In Him I shall have no lack, I firmly believe. Just 2 weeks ago, one still wondered from time to time how lunches and dinners were going to happen. He has provided. I give thanks.
I got to share the gospel again with my aunt. Praying on... there was good soil.. by faith... now let there be some rain and sunshine. =)
The 12th. For all who know the hearts that constitute it, let us pray for the leadership, for the boys, for the way things are run. I am excited. I know He has lots up His sleeve.
Pray for a culture of faith, boldness, I believe this can happen. Pray against the ignorance/ unbelief that might set itself up against our coming to know Him.
Let the word paint and breathe into us a picture of who He is, let us have faith that He is all He says He is! Let us go from Jesus on paper to Jesus in person! Oh does a picture not say more than a thousand words? Does a person not say so much more than a portrait?
Let us believe then, that we are, who He says we are. Let us unwrap the gifts and not leave them sitting. We have all He says--every spiritual blessing! Hear that? =) We shall know so much more of Him when we see Him work as we utterly commit ourselves to His leading... the knowledge of His proximity and His immense, boundless love shall be our joy, reward and encouragement--this is one more bit of the inheritance we have in Him. =) One more step closer to walking with Jesus. Let us learn to walk in simple faith.
"We will march on in the power of His Spirit...
We'll be sure and steadfast as we worship at His feet!
We'll be one in vision, one in Christ, together on our knees... for all the world to see!"
| e.s.t.h.e.r in the arms of Jesus @
8/04/2005 01:44:00 am |
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