Eye of the Storm
It's stocktaking time.
There's a mountain of work before me, and I am thankful for the chance to make something out of it all. I need to get organised. More work will come in soon, and between school projects, readings and assignments, khon kaen december plans, I will have to remember the Lord. Father, never let me forget to seek You first. Let everything else be done as Your wisdom dictates.
And as for deliverance, DEW ministries will not meet me this time. A pang hits me. I know I promised to wait patiently for His time to deal with it all. But God, will you really not have me? DEW ministries prays over who it is to minister to. I didn't make the list. It is instinctive to experience moments like that as God's rejection. But again His Spirit immediately reminds me that is not so. I must not give in to the lie.
The last few days upon return from Khon Kaen have been exceptionally dark. I have no explanation for why, and I refuse to let Satan twist the thought that God's allowed it all into another round of bitterness. I refuse to delve into self pity. There is nothing noble about all this--Christ died for me, there is more to live for, and that's that Satan. Go away. The temptation is there, to cut, to sleep and never wake, but I must not give in. I will not stop believing that I was made for something better than such desolation, hopelessness and waste. Satan, Christ has promised me the authority. I stamp you out with that very seal of authority given to me in Jesus name, Get out of my life. Scoot. NOW.
Three days ago, at Sunday worship, Jesus whispered into my soul "Remember me", and "I am your friend". All the tiredness and discouragement in me broke before the Lord and I made no attempt to stop my silent tears. Lord, I have held out. How long more?
But to remember Him, the nearness of Him, and to know I had His friendship still, calmed me. At the foot of the empty cross I find grace that restores me to His stillness and peace.
I am His.
That's all that matters.
In the calm of Your presence
I am listening Lord
I am still
I am quiet
I am Yours
Let Your word speak to me, Let Your Spirit draw near
I will obey everything that I hear
In the calm of Your presence
I am listening Lord
I am still
I am quiet
I am Yours
There's a thirst in my soul, for Your wisdom divine
I hunger for the peace and life I find
In the calm of Your presence
| e.s.t.h.e.r in the arms of Jesus @
9/13/2005 07:31:00 pm |
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