Update
Today is my 4th day into prayer and fasting, but let me tell you what happened yesterday. I have thought about how to tell this, because the heart is a very abstract thing, and you might not understand what i saw. Hence, I made a picture, which you can find here. http://img4.picsplace.to/img.php?. (Sorry Jesus really looks much better but drawing with a laptop touchpad is hard)
In short, after the bubble was torn, out scraggled 2 demons, as large as giant parachutes each, flailing against the walls of rock and backing further and further into what seemed like a hole, but really was a tunnel. After some swinging and knocking, Jesus simply put them over his shoulder, one ugly seething dark mass (like parachutes) on each side, and dragged them out to the end. Their entrails (should i say "entrails" if they were always hanging out anyway?) and long spindly arms(/bony tentacles?) rippling against the ground like long nervy ribbons (very gross), and they resisted by clawing into the loose rock chips underfoot, which they simply ended dragging with them. Their mouths were shut so that they could not lie now, but then they seemed to secrete them (think perspiring out lies instead of sweat), and these drops turned to a sharp cutting material entrenched in the ground so that one's feet would get cut if one walked behind them. Jesus took them to the end, when i saw what looked like roots, and cast them outside the boundaries of the heart. Then He stood at the roots Himself so that they never came near again.
And this is the strange thing. As I saw these demons dragged out, the physical spot of pain began to MOVE as well, off the centre of the chest, to the left.
The fog started to dispel.
We turned to the castle ruins upon the rocky inclines which we'd passed, and this He started to restore. I offered it to Him for a home as well, besides the northern/upper regions of the heart which He'd filled with His presence. Deeper in, within the darkness near the roots, on the other rocky surface, He levelled out a great plane of land, made out great tents, and established His tabernacle. I don't know if it is the same as when Israel wandered through the desert, but He dwelt there as well.
And this is where things are for now. I have not had nightmares since then (previously, especially since just before i started praying and fasting, every night my dreams would have to do with fragments of my old house, and I'd dream of being hunted by all kinds of forces, their ends being to kill me, usually led by someone I know, and love. One night it was my dad. In the last nightmare I had, there was a manifestation of the demon, and it tried not only to kill me, but to kill the people living with me as well. It entered a baby at the end and boiled it inside out to death before disappearing. I cannot describe the gruesomeness, the desperate heartpain at so much death, the fear and terror of those nights, how i felt as though half my personality had been eroded away by the prolonged fear, and how each morning I would have to spend time reminding myself again that this was reality, and overcoming the instinctual fear of those I knew who had featured in the dream. but now there is no need to remember these things.) The physical pain is still there, despite having moved. I think the two uglies cast out are standing the ground they've been thrown on, looking for an opportunity for a way back in, but Jesus has sealed off their entrance by being there.
Pray for me. In the days that ensue, Jesus and I are going to do some cleaning. I praise God for the relief of good sleep, it has never been sweeter, and I wait for the dark fog to lift completely.
=)
Jesus took my burdens, and rolled them in the sea
rolled them in the sea, rolled them in the sea
Jesus took my burdens, and rolled them in the sea
Never to remember anymore.
| e.s.t.h.e.r in the arms of Jesus @
1/09/2006 11:24:00 am |
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